everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
