Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
