brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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