belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
