Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
