By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
there is glitter all over my balls
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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