Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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