I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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