white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
