Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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