He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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