I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
