Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
