she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
