I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
