Only a mothe r could love this liver
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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