protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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