I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
