i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
