I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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