Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
