Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
