Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Never joke about your clitoris.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
