why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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