i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
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