Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
