is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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