R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
