What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
