he puts the penis in happiness.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
