My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
