okay pat passed out under dana's car
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
