***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
