I must be too annoying 4 u.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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