I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
