2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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