it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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