I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
