Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize