ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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