And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
