We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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