I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
