level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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