I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
