yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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