She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
