Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
