He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
