Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
